002 narcissus
Vanity is a concept hotly debated. Whether in judgment of others or introspection, being vain is usually seen as a negative thing. To me, the word's meaning is based on someone's successes, be it presentation, achievements, fiscal. And being vain is being aware of such successes. I love being vain. I can't help but think of pretty things when I hear the word. The Birth of Venus, satin slips, hand mirrors, pearls and resting on chaise lounges. Stubbornly, I would argue that no matter the what connotation I would still say I love being vain.
There is a common pattern where people hate things attached to vanity, only to become obsessed with it later as it becomes trendy. We've seen it constantly, especially when ideas that are novel, cool, new or different originate from / are presented by women. Fashion moments, popular clothes or accessories, art. The general public hates and belittles a choice simply made to please oneself. They make assumptions and drastic claims about who that person is to try something new. Drive the ‘pretty thing = shallow and worthless’ sentiment into the ground, only to praise it later.
I'm confused why people can't cut out the middleman. Think ‘oh if this is not something I 100% enjoy, maybe it's because it's revolutionary?’. Many people have regurgitated that doing something that garners hate is a perfect indicator of doing something right, and I cannot disagree. People hate when someone is sure of something. Vanity is being sure of yourself. If you're narcissistic, it doesn't affect anyone else, and is true; is it really negative?
The ultimate haters in life are those that are humble. Those who see pride as disrespectful. Those who see being selfless as a staple of human interaction. Those who have never felt truly satisfied with themselves because they aren't honest with their own desires. It isn't entirely their fault though. We all grow up in different environments, but the majority of people end up subscribing to general constructs of politeness and manners. Don't talk about money, don’t ask for more, don’t talk back, don’t disrespect people older than you, don’t talk about hard things. I've always felt it obvious the ulterior motives politeness has. Making sure people who know their worth don’t overstep what's expected of them. Ensuring any outlier piercing through normalcy is looked down upon by a one, homozygous, drab front. Vanity brings color to life. And growing up it becomes more and more clear that it's a waste of time trying to follow every micromanner. I have been shown too many times that rude, conniving characters hide behind niceties. Gross people never voicing their true motives and qualms, only showing a fake face for personal gain. I think now, ironically, vanity is evidence of authenticity.
I have met so many pretty faces that are genuine people. It makes sense to me though. Someone who puts effort into presenting themselves in true form, and is proud of it, would probably put more effort and honesty into their relationships with other people. It's a hand-in-hand attachment following growth. When you are honestly trying to find yourself in the whirlwind that is life, you realize the bi products appearing from new layers of expression. The more you level up in areas that are your own and make you happy, the more opportunities for growth and change appear. Conversely, when you present a facade and are busy making achievements for that facade, you slowly lose pieces of yourself. It will always be easy for me to be proud of myself. It will always be easier for me to fight for myself first. It will always be easy for me to love what I love and enjoy my life because I love it. I've seen the people that try to tell me otherwise fail miserably. Crashing and burning in the entropy they have created from never being honest with themselves. If you suck, you suck, move ON.
So this blog is a love letter to the lovely people I've met in the past few years. Beautiful brains and faces that show me there are people like me. I love you all dearly, and I can't wait to meet more of you.