004 be joyous

UGH!

Despite the bleak nature of today's world, the constant reminder that billionaires have ruined the environment, capitalism, and constant barrages of hate from older generations, I am happy and excited for life. It's always been hard to be a young person, whether people would like to admit it or not. It seems harder now, dealing with so much at such a young age. A lot of us are balancing existential dread, finding fulfilling experiences, unlearning and breaking cycles, and also just existing. It's amazing to me that more of us haven't quit. I hope this lights you up a little. Makes you soak up the sun a little longer; breathe a little deeper. Helps you face forward with a smile and strides that fit your future.

“let people have a bad day”

“you don't owe anyone anything”

“at the end of the day it's just you alone in the world”.

So commonly I see these statements get misconstrued. Within each of these statements there is truth; we all have bad days, and deserve to not feel bad about that. You should put yourself first because you are the only you there is. And when it comes down to it, no other person will understand or get you 1000% because they aren't you. But all that does not give you clearance to be mean or rude to everyone all day. Why are people so bent on drifting lanes towards being mean losers?

People spending entire days not interacting with a single happy person in a day is scary. People accepting that as the status quo is scary. People waking up and immediately being negative to others because the world they've been structurally told life is devoid of color IS SCARY! I, however, will live in a world where people know that negativity is not the default. It does take effort to be nihilistic and negative. Nihilism isn't dependent on negative actions, however the pretense that being alive is a pointless, purposeless waste of time is misinterpreted as a pass for negativity. It frustrates me that people don't see the ego in nihilism. What makes you so special that you get to decide whether life, in its entirety, has meaning? If you truly believe that life is just unavoidable, meaningless suffering, why are you here? Your existence disproves your so-called philosophy. No one is going to come synthesize happiness for you. It takes effort to do everything, stop putting energy into not enjoying things. Fucking loser! I have ended up on the late-stage side of existentialism because life IS inherently beautiful. If I won’t kill myself then i’ll have a ball. 

One day after grappling with the fact that people let small hiccups ruin their entire days i wrote:

“I will always let the little things destroy me. People would like to tell you not to feel and to overlook the little things. If small things can’t make your day and small things can ruin your day what will big things do? Losing love for small moments of life sounds worse than death. Living in denial of life is hell.”

Everyone seems to be obsessed with dismissing things in their daily lives. Floating through twenty-four hours prioritizing the ether of tomorrow, rather than their feet on the ground in the present. I hold the present with high importance, soaking up as much detail as possible and letting little things have power. Why not let small good things ruin your bad day? I always let beautiful things force me to have a better day regardless of how small. A pretty flower, a good outfit, a sunny window, a purposeful friend. All it takes is a little reframing. Small bad things are fruitless. Small good things are like treats we get to enjoy on the road to our bigger goals.

And while I'd love to sit here and say something along the lines of ‘I'm not asking you to have a good day everyday, and I'm not saying you can't have a bad day’ I can't. Because that's exactly what I'm asking. Every day I get to live is absolutely insane. The fact that I, in the billions of galaxies and assumably billions of years past and future get to exist. I get to be conscious and interact with other living things. That is special. That is amazing. That should be world shifting news. Life is hell when you make it is fucking miserable. You have so much more control over things in your life, and it starts with the small things. Stop being insufferable. Happiness is a choice. 

I have not always had a happy life but I will sit and I will say I've had a perfect one. I will not let everything that has happened to me go for nothing. I will not let the disgusting things win, and I will not spread disgusting things. Life is beautiful and I will not let anyone convince me otherwise. If you live life carelessly, why would it have meaning. I choose to have fun. I feel every fiber of beauty on earth. I choose to take action against the gross, despondent, miserable, unhelpful, annoying things that everyone in life seems to wake up everyday and say “this is ok” to.

KICK AGAINST IT. BE JOYOUS.